The promise was there when the season started. What seemed like a nice balance of veterans and young players looked as if it would offset a highly questionable pitching staff. Oh, how we wanted to believe! The first few weeks of the season built hope that maybe, just maybe, the starters would be OK. Not great, but OK.
JULY 25, 2015
All hope is lost. Those opening games seem like a mirage and reality has set in. Not only is the Sox pitching staff worse than we thought (not sure that is possible)…but the whole team, with a few exceptions, is an embarrassment. Yup, that’s the word. Many fair weather fans have put away their Bosox hats, shirts, underwear, bedspreads & removed all tattoos that make any reference to this team. Red Sox stickers have been scraped from auto windows and logo license plates have been encircled in black. Say it ain’t so, but, this is worse than last year!
RED SOX FANS: WHAT TO DO
Boston Red Sox: Here are 5 things you can do to make the final months of baseball season more enjoyable:
- Keep the refrigerator full of beverages that dull the pain. Note: Be sure that you take your time walking to the fridge and visit the facility every time you get up. This makes time pass quickly
- Play games during the game.
Here’s one I suggest: Have a log book handy so you can keep track of how many times the Red Sox have runners in scoring position with less than two out. For every run they score you get to take a drink, for every out they make without a run coming in you must get up and run outside screaming “The Red Sox %^&#$ (you pick the word)” Thank goodness the games are played during summer, so you won’t catch a cold. As an added benefit this will give you lots of exercise and cut way down on your drinking.
- Start a pool with friends (for enjoyment only, no money involved) who also are Red Sox masochists. Each square can represent the date the team will stop playing Mike Napoli, Hanley Ramirez, Pablo Sandoval or Big Papi. The winner of the pool gets a bottle of their favorite beverage. Hint: you could really have 4 separate pools to quadruple the fun. You also could use this idea on the date when/if Clay Buchholz returns.
- When opposing teams come to bat hold your breath until they score a run (don’t worry, it won’t be too long). This will make you dizzy and things will become blurry, making it impossible to concentrate on the game, which is a good thing. Warning:This could prove fatal, but it is highly unlikely.
- Make a vow to quit drinking for good if the Sox win 10 straight. This will allow you to enjoy the many losses without any guilt.
Now that I have you started I’m sure you can get your own creative juices started with some other ideas. Or better yet…find something else to do for a more enjoyable summer.
I’d love to hear your suggestions (keep them clean) and will write a follow up column with your comments after the season ends.
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